I often have a theme song for my seasons of life. When pregnant with our twins and having had a disappointing ultrasound, “Mighty to Save” by Laura Story was the one God used to speak hope into my uncertainty and waiting for His answer. I clung to the hope and idea that He was mighty to save the babies, or at least one, if He chose to.
Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save…
And while that wasn’t God’s plan to move mountains with a miracle, after I knew His answer it was still a song of comfort and strength. It was my reminder to come to Him where I was, moving forward in life, out of my grief and fill my emptiness with Him.
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
Back in September, I suffered a kidney stone attack. I had no idea what the searing pain on my right side was but since I couldn’t even move an inch out of my fetal position, let alone take care of my 3 kids, I knew I needed to call 911 to take me to the hospital. I knew something was horribly wrong, it was worse than my 2 natural births! It was like transitional labor pains, but without the hope and knowing that the end was near as soon as the baby comes out. Though, passing a kidney stones is indeed much like having a baby in many ways (the pain, the waiting, the pain being over as soon as it is out…). I’d definitely recommend having a baby over kidney stone. Public service announcement: Drink your water, folks!
Anyway, as the ambulance doors closed and we begin moving, myself wincing with every bump and turn, it was there this song popped into my head:
Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
I had heard it a few weeks before and it spoke to me then, but now it was a source of comfort in my exploding pain. Clinging to anything to get my mind off the pain, I practiced breathing as if I was in labor. I worshiped Him, begged Him, in the wailing ambulance as it warned the morning traffic to move out of the way. I felt a presence near me in that ambulance, a supernatural one. It wasn’t the EMT that strangely looked, sounded, and smelled just like Mark’s Uncle (it wasn’t him, but that was also comforting since he seemed familiar). I felt a presence of peace, perhaps an angel at my head. The pain continued on, but peace was there and I knew that I would be okay.
Since then, “Lord, I Need You” by Matt Maher has had a special place in my heart. Right now, as He is refining me in the various fires of life, this song is the one I cling to just like I did in that ambulance. It has served as my prayer in daily life when I have no other words to say. Every lyric echoes my heart’s desire for Him to be my strength. I am realizing how anything I do, whether it’s making it through something painful, finding the patience and self-control to deal with tantrums, to writing this book He’s placed on my heart…I need Him. Every moment. Every day.
And when I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus, You’re my hope and stay
This song of my current season brings me comfort, strength, and peace. What is your current theme song? How has God used it?