Last night half of our ladies small group shared our testimonies so that can we can know each other deeper and see how God reached into our lives to change our hearts. The situations He used were all different, but one thing is the same: There were stepping stones leading down to Him so that He could bring us UP. Stepping stones that often lead to heartache, depression, and many questions. But, oh, how God has used those situations for His glory!
My story consists of everything from living between two family’s back and forth, feeling unstable amongst all the moving we did and changing schools every few years, sexual abuse, turning to boys for what I thought was “love,” to 2 teen pregnancies, adoption, and a young motherhood. It’s not a pretty story. My early years were filled with heartache and searching in all the wrong places. But, these latest chapters are ending up to be a lot happier…because now I have a relationship with God. I have His peace, His strength to being me through whatever He brings me to. To be honest, for many years I felt bitter and angry towards God and people in my life for not protecting me as a child or trying harder to talk to me as a teen. Why wasn’t there more rules and discipline? Why didn’t a person who was supposed to love me, hurt me? Why didn’t God stop it? I couldn’t answer those questions, things just were they way they were. It took counseling and a change of perspective to see how God used all these situations, even as a 4 year old, to lead me to the point of sobbing in my room at 7 months pregnant when I was 16 years old. I finally was at my lowest of lows, where I had no where to go anymore but UP with and to Him. I’m so grateful for that, I am. I am thankful for the trials that broke me and humbled me. I am thankful for each stepping stone.
Sure, it is hard to be in the situations at the moment. Even just a year ago, I was on a stepping stone of Postpartum Depression and Anxiety (and just so. darn. tired.). It was a very hard year emotionally, but it is often during those trials that I feel Him most. He was there every step of the way, guiding me and giving me tools, helping me to discover more of myself and who He is. Helping me to move forward and forgive, helping me to change my perspective to His perspective. Looking back now over my 27 years, I finally see the answer to why that I always questioned of my childhood: to bring me to Him.
What were your stepping stones? I’d love to hear your stories! Are you thankful for your trials?
It’s a process, for sure.